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Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!
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Then, I decide to hit up the local park, the one by the Wainuiomata River. I’m strolling along, and I see this family having a picnic. They’ve got all the good stuff—sandwiches, chips, and this massive cake. I’m drooling, right? So, I’m like, “Hey, can I join?” They look at me like I’m a weirdo. I mean, who wouldn’t want to share cake?
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